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18th April
Updated from time to time

The Archive: January 2004

The start of 2004 saw the Hutton Inquiry turn into the Hutton Report, with devastating consequences for the BBC. There was also part one of the great tuition fees disaster that never was, and some lighter moments - an exploding whale, a WMD hoax and Michael Howard's cosmetic surgery.

As always, you can find a full list of the stories we published below:



Date not announced for report into deaths of Iraqi civilians Hutton Inquiry rules on BBC "propaganda" Hutton clears government, finds BBC guilty of murder, spin-doctors say Hutton Report: Boris Johnson cleared of wrongdoing Lord Hutton unveils 2004 Blafta Awards nominees Sun's Hutton leak accurate and unbiased - shock Hutton to head inquiry into Hutton Inquiry leak Government to take revenge on BBC over Hutton Downing Street to deny pressuring Hutton to "sex up" report Campbell demands more changes at BBC DeadBrain exclusive: Hutton to replace Dyke at BBC Entire BBC, rest of country except government resign over Hutton Report


New armed forces equipment shortage scandal Blair released on bail after WMD hoax


Kilroy apologises for being irritating talk show host Arabs regret anti-Kilroy comments


Conservative leader auditions for rock group "The Darkness" Animal rights campaigners criticise Steve Irwin baby stunt Prince Charles more popular than sex Ozzy Osbourne "dies" but lives to tell the tale Probe into long-term health effects of reality TV Shock as man fails to enjoy Lord of the Rings film


US probe lands on Mars, begins search for WMD Mission to find lemmings on Mars suffers new setback Bush congratulates scientists, makes own Mars discovery Bush orders military occupation of the moon


Rusedski tests positive for being Canadian British Tennis Association condemns Canadian "druggie" Rusedski just tip of iceberg in Canadian plot


Top-up fees: Clarke concedes review into effects on Labour majorities Government wins student top-up poverty fees vote Shock as NUS campaign fails miserably


Traffic Wardens to get X-ray vision, other new powers Blair pays surprise visit to traffic wardens US to require urine samples from visitors Mixed reaction to new Civil Contingencies Bill Bush orders pre-emptive strike against Yorkshire "Royal" terror cell was active in Yorkshire, says US


Millions fall victim to "dangerous" Y2K4 bug in Windows XP Britons angry at on-the-spot fines for expired televison licences Blair to rejoin Labour Party Children to be charged for primary school education Bush identifies climate change as new terror threat Blair eaten for breakfast by Frost Public advised not to put salmon under armpits Catholic Church to re-categorise rumpy-pumpy Expert group declares toasters safe Prince Philip in peasant-shooting row Unsavoury campaign to get more people frying Michael Howard to have cosmetic surgery Iain Duncan Smith offers Blair "ousting" counselling Conrad Armchair sells off satire stake to Natwest brothers Government to introduce fixed payment rates for body parts UK air traffic control to upgrade to Flight Simulator 2004 Blunkett undergoes surgery to enlarge top of head Howard pledges to outlaw waccy baccy, alcopops and Britney Spears USA censures Taiwan over its WMD programme Cabinet Ministers to be declassified

Dubya's Week

Dubya's Week: Bush's New Year's resiglutions Dubya's Week: Blame the terrorists Dubya's Week: Mars or bust Dubya's Week: State of the Union Dubya's Week: A Sea of Troubles More from the President's journal

Dumbed Down

The Big Question: Should Kilroy be sacked? The Big Question: Is there life on Mars? The Big Question: Is Boris Johnson the Messiah?


DeadBrain adds "smart links" technology

See also

January 2004 in our US edition

December 2003 Archive Index February 2004
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