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Election News


Election Match Report
A game of two sides.

Candidates for interim Tory leader begin to emerge
Boris Johnson favourite.

BBC map painters collapse from paint fumes
Unprotected students keel over.

Peter Snow overheats, bursts into flames
Too much excitement.

Party leaders vote - shock
Disturbing footage shown on television.

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News declares Conservative victory
Fair and balanced.

Ambitious plans announced for election night coverage
Live online from 10pm.

Howard promises to improve the weather
Met Office to be privatised.

Tories set out post-election plans
Date for leadership election set.

An open letter from Tony Blair
Let's just forget about Iraq, shall we?

Greenpeace protestors scale John Prescott
Short-lived protest.

Lib Dems remember about Iraq
Knew they'd forgotten something...

An open letter from Charles Kennedy
Please vote for me, I'm not a Tory.

BNP launches manifesto promising abolition of ethnic minorities
It's not racist to hate gypsies, black people, Asians, Jews...

Tesco launches deli counter for "aspirational hecklers"
Luxury pre-rotted fruit 'n' veg.

Blair launches election campaign for 2009
2005 done and dusted.

Country struggles to cope without MPs
State of panic following dissolution.

Cherie Blair to give birth to twins
Eventually, perhaps.

Tories ask to be known as Labour
Name change plotted for election.

DeadBrain unveils skateboarding election reporters
Chasing the big stories.

Election set for 5th May shock
Public recoils in horror.

Monster Raving Loony Party 'targeted' as key Labour threat
Next on list after Tories.




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