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Elsewhere today:
Car crime statistics stolen from minister's car
Mugabe banned from playing cricket in UK
Call centres go on strike; robot overlords one step closer to domination
Ia splits from Serb in latest Balkan separation
Record number of people 'forget who Pete Doherty is'
Immigrant: Does the jobs you hate

Prescott Alert

Throughout the campaign DeadBrain tracks the activities of the Deputy Prime Minister.

So far in this campaign John Prescott is not known to have attacked any voters. Please report any sightings to us.

Go on, have a look at this...

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Prescott alert status: ELEVATED

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