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DeadBrain in Spain
August 2001
Part Two: The Accommodation
- After watching Fawlty Towers, DeadBrain was unwilling to trust the task of food preparation to anyone Spanish, so it decided to stay self-catering. The "kitchen" was somewhat lacking, consisting as it did of two rings and a kettle. This resulted in only a few self-catered meals - all of which contained baked beans.
- Spanish beds are made for midgets with no feeling in their backs. Do not sleep on one if you have just spent two hours on a Canadian aeroplane, as this will result in even more discomfort.
- Do not trust Spanish plumbing or plumbers. If you have the misfortune to have a dripping tap, do not expect repairs to last more than 30 minutes. Also do not expect Spanish plumbers to understand a word you say, and vice versa.
- The Spanish electricity board is helped by the same team of reliability consultants that help Virgin trains. Random power cuts are common.
- Beware of Spanish electrical appliances. Not only do they have weird-shaped plugs, but DeadBrain's fridge was nearly as old as the Queen Mother, only with more wrinkles. The use of garlic and crosses is advisable at night.
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Oi, down here!
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