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31st July
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One of the questions I get asked a lot, or at least occasionally, well, once or twice anyway, is "Do you accept contributions?" The answer, plain and simple, is, er, sort of.

We at DeadBrain pride ourselves on not discriminating against anyone or anything because of what they are, even if they are the President of the United States. Therefore it would be wrong of us to discriminate against contributions simply because they are contributions. In fact, we're actually quite keen to discover new talent. (We're also keen to take on slaves to do all of our work for us, but if you're considering applying to join our happy family you can safely ignore that part. Honest.)

Having said that, we get enough crap sent to us already, so contributions in the form of special offers for Viagra, double glazing quotations and breast enlargement drugs sent to me personally won't be especially well received.

So who or what are we after? All sorts of people, really. Writers, obviously, would be of great use since DeadBrain is primarily about written satire. We're always trying to publish as many updates as possible while maintaining our relatively high standards (laughter at this point does not help), so bringing new people with new ideas on board would help with this.

However, DeadBrain isn't just about writing. We've got some exciting plans for our future, and we need all sorts of people to support that. Graphics designers are welcome to join us, as are legal-type people (sooner or later somebody is going to sue us), people who can do fancy stuff like Flash, people who can help promote us, and people who are willing to supply us with copious amounts of alcohol and/or pizzas.

Also, financial backers have long passed us by for some bizarre reason (perhaps the smell), so if you're rich we'd like your money. Perhaps you could donate a winning lottery ticket, or maybe you have a rich relative who is about to die: like the Labour party, we're not that fussed.

There are probably other sorts of people we would like to hear from too, so if you think you may be one of them and you haven't been mentioned, you're welcome to correct our mistake.

So, if you think you can do something for us, please get in touch. We're a friendly bunch and only tend to bite around feeding time, so there's nothing to be afraid of. We guarantee to respond to all emails that are worth responding to as soon as humanly possible normally within a day or two.

Please send any enquiries about contributing through our contact page. If you would like to submit an article, please visit our submissions section instead for more information.
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