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| You have been drawn towards: Home > News in Brief > Archive | 19th March |
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May 2003 In Brief: Bush pledges to hunt down suicide bombers 13 May 2003 News just in from the "you couldn't make it up" department... President Bush has pledged to hunt down those responsible for the bombing of foreign workers' compounds in Saudi Arabia last night. In a speech today he condemned the attack, in which suicide bombers killed at least 29 people and said that the people who carried out the "cowardly operation" would be brought to justice. Cheney to host special "Who wants to be a millionaire?" 18 May 2003 by Malcolm Drury DeadBrain has learned that US Vice President Dick "Head" Cheney is to host a special edition of the television programme "Who wants to be a millionaire?", featuring as contestants invited senior executives from corporate America, including Mr Cheney's former company, Halliburton. The contestants will be competing for lucrative contracts for rebuilding Iraq's infrastructure. "There is a huge amount of reconstruction work to be done to rebuild and reshape Iraq," said White House spokeswoman Mildred K. Ramsbottom. "Given recent totally unfounded criticisms of secret deals to friends of the Vice President, we see this as the best way of convincing Americans that we are being completely open, with a truly competitive process". Contestants will be asked questions on a range of topics, such as creative accounting, tax avoidance, and the best offshore places in which to hide investments. Eurovision: Resignations demanded over UK performance 25 May 2003 The Conservatives are demanding a minister's head for last night's poor Eurovision performance. The UK came bottom of the pile with zero points – the only entrant to do so and the country's lowest ever score. "Tessa Jowell should hang her head in shame for last night's appalling performance," said Tory "leader" Iain Duncan Smith. "Not only did she allow the public to vote for this terrible attempt at music, but she… no, that's about it really. But as for the BBC, well they're just as bad. They had the audacity to show this rubbish on television! The government should [continues, with spluttering, for another few minutes]". The Liberal Democrat leader, Charles Kennedy, has meanwhile called for proportional representation to be introduced into the Eurovision voting system. In Brief: FBU says fire-fighters will "keep it real" despite pay deal 29 May 2003 FBU General Secretary Andy Gilchrist has moved to quell fears that a proposed 16% pay increase for fire-fighters will lead them to believe that they are all that. Employers had been concerned that fire-fighters would be unwilling to "stay real", concerns echoed by the government who have been critical of the lavish pay deal. "Despite earning £25,000 by 1 July 2004 I am confident that these vital public sector workers will remember their friends," commented a noticeably bling'd up Gilchrist in response to concerns that the increase would mean the fire-fighters forgetting where they came from. According to newspaper reports many of the fire-fighters had rushed out to buy some serious rocks and were now "dripping in ice". Mr Gilchrist assured DeadBrain that this was not the case.
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