The Week in Rhyme
by Dick Tator
Joy at last for Sophie and Ed
They'll have to invest in a tiny new bed
They've got a girl to shower with affection
Who had to be born by caesarean section
One less thing for the royals to fear
At least they now know that Eddie's not queer
But rumours about Charlie just won't go away
Even his staff think he might be gay
The pressure is on for Georgie Dubya
The people of London are all out to trouble ya
They're not happy about children who've lost both their feet
And the president's agents who'll close off the streets
But the Texan is facing a peaceful attack
Not like the soldiers still stuck in Iraq
Fighting that war must be the pits
Not knowing if you're going to get blown to bits
Poor Britney was crying on American TV
"I'm so sad," she said, "Justin split up with me
I thought we'd get married and be happy for life
But he wanted my cherry, now I won't be his wife"
In a week where there was not much to report
We all turned to watching some quality sport
The rugby world cup is nearing a close
In the final are the men who wear a red rose
Their rugby was hard but it wasn't too pretty
It suited their style that the weather was shitty
If they lose in the final with JW in the team
Their quest for glory will always be a dream
To football and Beckham is far from impressed
He's angry with the FA and so are the rest
They're treating the players like pieces of shite
No wonder Denmark beat them last night
But what about Scotland and their glorious day
They took on the Dutch in their typical way
Fighting and scrapping and getting stuck in
They battled like lions for a well-deserved win
So it's onwards to Wednesday in Amsterdam
The Ajax arena is going to be crammed
Let's hope that the Scots hold on and get through
And if it ends up just perfect then the Welsh will win too
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Next Week on DeadBrain
Full coverage of President Bush's visit to the UK
Fenella Clamp and Ham Pitchmast are on holiday
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