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Another Microsoft "Mistake"
24 Jul 2001
Microsoft today denied that its new anti-piracy measures in Windows XP are excessive. Instead of simply inserting the CD into their computers, entering long codes and various irrelevant pieces of personal information, and eventually sitting through a lengthy installation that has to be repeated at least once every month, users will now have to call up a Microsoft phone number, be put on hold until the next millennium, write down incorrectly another lengthy code given to them by a six-year-old Microsoft support assistant, call back and get the correct code, prove their worthiness to use the software, assure the six-year-old that they do indeed like Pokemon, deny that they have ever done anything illegal, ever, (including stealing hotel towels), and contact the local Rabbi for a blessing, before finally starting the installation procedure. Which will crash.
Company spokesman Gregory T Mullet told us, while producing a large flipchart from his back pocket, "Software piracy is against the law and we're really pissed off about it cos it's costing us loads of cash." He continued, while gesturing wildly at the flipchart with a faulty laser pointer, by saying "We have only done what is necessary to prevent our software from being copied. If it wasn't for those nasty little pirates I could have had a new BMW by now."
Industry expert Dr Douglas Ramsbottom told a packed press conference, consisting of our fearless reporter and a garden gnome, that the new Microsoft policy was a "mistake". "I think it's a big mistake," he shouted, clutching a bottle in a brown paper bag. "They're a bunch of fools, they don't know what they're doing!"
Windows XP is due to be launched in October, so you can expect to see it in shops sometime before Christmas 2002.
This looks good...
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