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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Saddam Hussein |
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| You are just out of reach of: Home > News | 17th May |
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Countries will be left "empty" 29 Aug 2001 There was concern among refugees' charities today over claims that several countries could be "empty" within a decade. According to a new report by the little-known University of Slough, the problem of asylum seekers fleeing their countries has become so serious that in around ten years a number of countries could be left unoccupied. Researchers found that if the trend of people leaving these countries does not reverse, there could soon be no one left to leave. This has provoked comments from a wide range of organisations, starting with the Liberal Democrats who were out for an early morning ramble in Shropshire when they heard the news. A spokesman said eagerly, "The problem has obviously got out of hand. The government should launch an immediate public investigation, and we should look into the possibility of holding a referendum." The Liberal Democrats were, for once, not isolated in their views. Children's charity Unicef, the Commission for Racial Equality and a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (who had nothing better to do) were all also keen for an inquiry. The Conservatives, meanwhile, responded with a torrent of racial scare mongering and an activist waved her Zimmer frame angrily at reporters. Lady Thatcher was later sedated on grounds of public safety. In the last few minutes, President Bush addressed a packed White House conference with a string of unintelligible mumbles. His press officer later assured journalists that he didn't say anything remotely important or interesting. Finally, Government officials issued a statement this evening saying that the problem was under control, there is nothing to worry about, and will everyone please stop talking about it, OK?
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