Brown envelopes banned
18 Sep 2001
Minister for Nothing in Particular John Prescott today announced new measures to cut the sleaze out of government. The measures, which were listed in a long and largely baffling speech by the Deputy Prime Minister, include the banning of brown envelopes from all ministerial offices. According to officials, this will prevent payoffs similar to those in the cash for questions affair taking place, because ministers will be unable to get their hands on any brown envelopes to put their money in.
Bemused journalists at the press conference in a small pub near Wales were keen to point out that ministers could simply put their money in another coloured envelope, and that it was the ministers who were being paid anyway, so why would they want to put money in envelopes?
Mr Prescott responded with a full and frank explanation - which included the words "sleaze", "journalist", "bastards" and "ice cream" - as to why these new rules would help stop sleaze, but unfortunately no one at the press conference could understand a word he was saying.
Simon says look at this...