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Nothing to say
5 Jan 2002
Delegates to the world hairdressing conference in Malaysia yesterday left distressed after realizing they had run out of things to talk about. According to Gregorio T Mullet, a famous Italian hairdresser, the events of September 11th are to blame.
Speaking from behind a metal reinforced door, Mr Mullet told us, "we just don't have anything to talk to our customers about anymore. Nobody's going on holiday, the weather's shit, and hairdressing isn't really that exciting anyway. I'm at the end of my tether!"
Meanwhile, Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, a world authority on the art of cucumber growing, was keen to get a hearing at the conference. Eyewitnesses tell us, though, that since he is not an actual hairdresser he was prevented from entering the conference hall by women brandishing "extremely sharp" scissors. Professor Ramsbottom has since become severely depressed and is rumoured to have taken up golf.
Have you seen this?
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