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Campaign Statement Made
13 Feb 2002
Underpaid journalists camping outside the East Yorkshire headquarters of the Bring Back Ann Widdecombe Campaign were at last rewarded today, as a statement was made about its future. According to spokesperson Douglas Ramsbottom, who returned from his holiday in Greece this morning to find a crowd of journalists had been camping in his garden, the future is "unimportant".
Leaning out of his bedroom window, Mr Ramsbottom shouted exclusively to DeadBrain and the rest of the fools standing below, "Who gives a damn? I certainly don't. Now piss off out of my garden!" Mr Ramsbottom then proceeded to pour a bucket of water over one plucky cameraman who was attempting to steal a garden gnome.
Meanwhile, in a far more professional-sounding London press conference (which was in fact held in a grotty flea-ridden café), Chris Tarrant proclaimed himself the new leader of the campaign. According to Mr Tarrant, who was annoyingly excited throughout his press conference, "the Bring Back Ann Widdecombe Campaign is essential to our future. Let's get some t-shirts done and go on a march. Huh-huh."
This looks good...
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