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War to be Extended
24 Feb 2002
Advisors close to President Bush have told DeadBrain that the war on terrorism may soon be extended now that the war in Afghanistan is all but over. According to Douglas Ramsbottom Jr, the man who tells Mr Bush which tie to wear, the Americans are keen to start on their next expedition: a "war on things we don't like".
The war on things they don't like is likely to include "rogue" states such as Iran, Iraq and Belgium, but may also include individuals who are not especially liked. Margaret Thatcher, Ken Livingstone and Bill Clinton have all reportedly invested in extra security. Meanwhile, some right-wing analysts have suggested that the war could even encompass a war on "bad pop music", with Westlife and Steps being likely targets.
It is not yet clear whether the UK will be supporting the new campaign, although Tony Blair is said to be keen on giving Ken Livingston "a good battering". Labour backbenchers are likely to reject the plans, though, protesting that they "actually quite like Westlife".
Look at this, moron.
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