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Head for the high ground!
25 Feb 2002 by AGCC World in Paris and DeadBrain at home
The entire UK population and a small town in Dorset were today shocked at news from a close friend of Ann Widdecombe. According to Lord Douglas Ramsbottom, a group of "killer gnomes" carried out a tactical raid on Ms Widdecombe's home sometime between 1:00 AM and her feeding time.
Speaking to ex-children's TV heart throb Mr Benn, Lord Ramsbottom said: "The gnomes attacked for no damned reason at all; they were not provoked by me, Ms Widdecombe or Robin Cook". After Mr Benn reminded his lordship that he was not involved in this attack, although Robin Cook could well have been, he let out a belch and ran off.
Sources in the New York Police Department say that the gnomes originally came from South Wales and had been angered by Ms Widdecombe's refusal to holiday there. Police who are actually investigating the attack have so far drawn a blank, but have taken Ms Widdecombe into protective custody "for her own and everyone else's safety".
This looks good...
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