| |
Website joins Lib Dems
1 Apr 2002
Respected news satire website "DeadBrain" today announced that it is to throw its weight behind the Liberal Democrats. Speaking from a bright yellow podium outside a pub in Dorchester, DeadBrain's official spokesman Dr Gregory T Mullet told journalists, "It has not escaped our notice that the Liberal Democrats have been making considerable progress lately. We are confident that by backing the Lib Dems we are backing a winner. Yes madam, a WINNER!" Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy gave a "cautious welcome" to DeadBrain in the form of a handshake and a yellow padded envelope.
In related news, DeadBrain has also announced that it will be moving its entire operation from its current secret location to the East Yorkshire village of Wetwang, made famous by the Bring Back Ann Widdecombe Campaign earlier this year. Speaking from the same yellow podium and in an increasingly excited voice, spokesman Dr Gregory T Mullet shouted at the remaining crowd of two journalists, "Wetwang is a great place! We are really looking forward to moving there." Wetwang does not currently have a tourism chief, but locals assure us that if it did he would be "very worried".
Finally, in only marginally relevant news, DeadBrain has also proclaimed Ann Widdecombe as its "Messiah". Dr Gregory T Mullet, who by this time was foaming at the mouth, made the revelation earlier today. Unfortunately, almost all of his audience had long-since given up on him and left, but we understand that four lost sheep were "transfixed" with Dr Mullet's speech. Gripping his mud-spattered yellow podium tightly, Dr Mullet gargled at the sheep: "It is Ann, it always has been Ann and it always will be Ann!"
After pausing for ecstatic applause from the sheep, whose number had since shrunk to three, Dr Mullet continued, "She is the Messiah, she shall lead us where others dare not! Into McDonalds we shall go, my friends, and there we will drink from the holy fountain of the hot beverages machine!" He added, "But fear not, friends, for if we are scalded we shall sue the pants off 'em!"
Go on, have a look at this...
|
|
