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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Ann Widdecombe |
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| You are puzzled to find: Home > News | 6th January |
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| A Low-Budget Feature 21 Apr 2002 The Chancellor Gordon Brown made his 6th budget speech this afternoon, promising a 43% rise in NHS spending over the next five years. DeadBrain, in all its unabbreviated glory, is pleased to bring you this special, badly punned and not particularly useful low-budget feature. What does the budget mean for you? As is traditional with every budget, you will almost certainly be worse off somehow. No matter whether you are young, old, a health worker, a teacher, a police officer or a self-employed florist from Peckham, New Labour guarantees that you will lose money in some way. What did Iain Duncan Smith say? Nothing especially exciting (another tradition), but our keen ears did pick out this soundbite: "People should not have to use their life savings to save their lives." Ironic, really, considering the Tories are investigating private health insurance options at the moment. Who is Iain Duncan Smith? A florist from Peckham. What's he got to do with anything? Nothing, but he made us laugh. What did Charles Kennedy say? Probably something to do with increasing taxes and proportional representation, but our man in Westminster had already gone to take advantage of the freeze on beer, wine and spirits duty by the time he piped up. What was the most interesting part of the budget? What could have been a very interesting moment was, sadly, avoided as the Chancellor declined to take an alcoholic drink in with him, a clear indication that he wouldn't be raising taxes on booze. But, the BBC had Peter Snow dancing around a giant Monopoly board in the Trafford Centre, so that made up for it. What is Peter Snow on? I wish I knew. Can you think of an amusing way of finishing this article? Other than a completely irrelevant joke about Ann Widdecombe, no. See also: Our Budget Calculator
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