| | Protests in France
27 Apr 2002
Shocked people have been protesting on the streets of France this week after the extreme right-wing presidential candidate Jean Marie Le Pen came second in the first round of the country's elections. Despite having been named after two girls and an item of stationery, Le Pen gained 17% of the vote after one of his key opponents, Francois Le Non-Shatter Ruler, withdrew from the race with a back injury.
Le Pen will now go head-to-head with Jacques Chirac in the climax of the French elections next week in a system inspired by Pop Idol. At a press conference on Friday, Le Pen offered to send Tony Blair a trainload of asylum seekers from the controversial Sangatte holding centre. According to officials at Downing Street, Mr Blair graciously declined the gift, saying that he preferred the set of handkerchiefs he got from President Bush and that he "already had plenty anyway".
Meanwhile, despite the growing outrage at the result in France, political analysts in this country have been less sympathetic. "It's their own bloody fault," said Professor Gregory T Mullet of Nottingham University's Frog Dissection Department. "If a few more of the garlic-eating tosspots had got off their fat arses and voted we wouldn't have a fucking Nazi rampaging around the country." When asked whether he had anything against the French, Professor Mullet muttered, "Of course not, I love their chips."
Look at this, moron.
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