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Byers, Byers, Pants on Fire
16 May 2002
The underwear of the Beleaguered Transport Secretary Stephen Byers was well and truly alight tonight after he leaked the government's alleged Euro plans to journalists. Reporters who witnessed his briefing say that his Y-fronts burst into flames shortly after he started speaking, and continued to burn throughout their questioning.
Downing Street was quick to deny all of Mr Byers' claims in levels of detail that were sufficiently uninteresting for us to report and/or understand. They were, however, unwilling to provide a fire extinguisher.
Political analysts are predicting that Mr Byers' time may finally be up; just as they were last time he made a "minor mistake". But, instead of a dismissal from the cabinet, some suggest that he may be moved to a post such as Minister for Comedy Value or Secretary of State for Mild Amusement. DeadBrain wholeheartedly backs such a move.
Oi, down here!
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