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MoD announces new force
12 Jun 2002
The Ministry of Defence announced new plans for a rapid reaction force this afternoon. If the plans go ahead, civil servants, special advisors and selected ministers will be on 24-hour standby to respond to any sort of attack on the government.
Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon explained why the force is necessary. "We all know about the tragic events of September 11th," he said sorrowfully at a packed press conference. "In future, as soon as despicable rogues like Jo Moore send out that sort of email, highly-trained members of our defence force will leap into action and spin their little hearts out. With enough practice, the public will never even find out about these things!"
A speech against the proposals by the Shadow Defence Secretary was tonight abandoned following the leaked announcement of "four and a half billion" new doctors for the NHS, a cure for all known diseases and a bomb scare "all over the place".
Look at this, moron.
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