| | Battery hens "could be banned"
25 Jun 2002
Battery hens may be banned within 10 years if new government plans announced today go ahead. Successive governments have been under increasing pressure to ban the practice that animal rights campaigners say is cruel.
"It's just not natural," said professional busybody Douglas Ramsbottom. "Hens should be powered by grain and water and stuff like that. Sticking batteries up them to make them lay eggs faster just isn't right!"
The electricity industry has responded angrily to the plans, though, saying that banning the use of batteries in hens could put them out of business. "The batteries used in hens are a special type," said industry expert Dr Gregory T Mullet. "They cost a lot to produce and as such sell for a lot too. This generates companies like Duracell a lot of money."
The Energizer bunny declined to comment but a brief solicitor's statement said that the practice would go "on and on".
Oi, down here!
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