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Bush Intelligence Results
8 Jun 2002
Scientists at Harvard University this afternoon released the results of an investigation into the intelligence of President Bush. The 6 month-long research (5 months to find Dubya's intelligence, 1 month to analyse it?) was conducted by a team of over 2 of America's top scientists.
Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, who led the team, explained their methods. "We began by taking a sample of the President's brain tissue and combined it with a number of barely pronounceable chemicals," he spluttered excitedly. "Then we took a number of control substances and did the same."
Professor Ramsbottom's assistant, the ever-hungry Dr Gregory T Mullet, described the next stage to us over lunch. "Right, so then we had to compare the compounds," he said from behind a large cheese sandwich. "One of them – a sample taken from a pig sty – was almost identical in colour, density and smell."
This, say the team, is conclusive prove that Dubya is as thick as pig shit.
Excuse me, would you mind?
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