| | EXCLUSIVE: Saddam's weapon of choice
11 Aug 2002
A source in the White House today confirmed exclusively to DeadBrain what many people around the world have suspected for a long time: Saddam Hussein is a weapon of mass distraction. The shocking announcement came just a day before President Bush is due to meet with advisors to discuss a possible attack on Iraq.
Military experts here in the UK say that any deployment of Saddam Hussein could be highly dangerous. "We just don't know what will happen," said Professor Douglas Ramsbottom of Warwick University. "The world has never seen a weapon of this size deployed before. The results could be devastating."
Disturbingly, there is evidence that the weapon has already been deployed – perhaps only in part – on Britain and the USA. Already millions of people have been distracted from normally important issues like the state of the NHS, the railways and John Prescott.
In a statement this afternoon, however, Downing Street denied that the government had launched a Saddam Hussein strike on its own people. "We have no knowledge of any such attack being carried out on the British people," said a nervous official wearing a full-body contamination suit and gas mask before running quickly back into his bombproof bunker. One journalist replied by shouting, "Yes but what about... no, I've forgotten what I was going to say now."
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