| | Saddam announces "New Deal"
14 Aug 2002
"The entire world", including Coventry, was revelling in "slight but pleasant surprise" this week after it emerged that Saddam Hussein is to offer a "New Deal". Politicians on both sides of the Atlantic had expected the Iraqi dictator to try to reach a compromise over the UN weapons inspectors banned from the country, but instead Saddam announced a "new" Labour-style employment deal for his people.
Under Saddam's New Deal, all people between the ages of 18 and 54 will be entitled to help finding employment within Iraq. Controversially, however, the type of work available to jobseekers will depend on their status in society.
At the top of the scale, close friends of Saddam and immediate family members "except the ones he's shot" will be given help finding a job in the senior ranks of the civil service and diplomatic corp. However, ordinary citizens will be limited to less prestigious jobs like serving in the armed forces, performing sanitary duties and "getting gassed to see what happens".
In response, respected members of the international community and George W Bush said en masse, "That's great Saddam, but what about those weapons?" Further "progress" is expected while Parliament is in recess and can't discuss it.
Simon says look at this...
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