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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Jacques Chirac |
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| You have come across: Home > News | 11th February |
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| Pamplona festival kicks off 20 Aug 2002 by BogSnorkel's Editor Thousands tempted asphyxiation and several people were suffocated as Spain's annual Pamplona "Running through the Bullshit" festival got off to a predictably dangerous but hilarious start. Around 2,000 people scared the living shit out of six bulls and six steers at the beginning of the world's most famous running through the bullshit festival on Sunday. Three people were suffocated to death after being dumped on by the frightened creatures and others were admitted to hospital after being overcome by fumes. Hundreds more were later admitted to launderettes as a precautionary measure while 150 were put on the waiting list for new livers following the traditional 72 hour pre-run fiesta. In a separate incident a man in his 30s from London, England was reported to be full of shit. Several people slipped on the poo-covered streets and fell. They too shit themselves when confronted by the oncoming bulls. This caused a massive pile up of excrement which held the race up for several minutes while it was wiped away. One bull was heard to complain that it was the same every year. Hosé, a pure bred Extramaduran bull was angry at the organisers. "Again they have failed us. We were really looking forward to shitting our load as a prelude to being butchered in the ring and now this." "Every year naïve, overweight Americans on a Hemingway trip find out the hard way that us Spanish bulls don't bullshit." TV commentators called it an unusually dangerous run as several of the more extremist younger bulls were carrying rocket propelled grenade launchers. "We're not prepared to take anymore bullshit," said one young spokesman for the Bullshit Liberation Front. "Since 1591 it's always been us who are supposed to shit ourselves. Well it's payback time now," he said as he quickly reloaded and aimed the weapon forcing another nearby runner to crap himself. "Why am I running? Well look behind you!" screamed Chuck, 28, to our reporter as a Flying Bull in an F16 commenced to cluster bullshit race participants. The Pamplona festival, made famous by Ernest Chamberpots 1927 novel The Shit Always Rises, traditionally includes bullshitters from all over the world. Since 1591, there have been no recorded survivals amongst participating animals in the eight-day event although one bull once held out in a china shop for over 12 days. Most recently in 1995, a young Animal rights activist was gored to death by a crowd of angry shitheads. Click here to read more of their work.
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