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| You are sitting on: Home > News | 11th February |
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 Iraqi leader proclaims victory in "Mother of all Reality TV Shows" 10 Sep 2002 by Alex Saddam Hussein stood before the combined mass audience of ITV and an old man watching ITV2 tonight to herald his famous victory in the US-backed global dictator 'Survivor' show, "I'm a Former Friend of America but Now They Want to Get me Out of Here!" "Despite a great deal of underhand pressure including the invasion of my homeland, the destruction of our armed forces, humiliating no-fly zones, crippling economic sanctions, military air strikes, attempted assassinations, and constant last number redialling to the voting lines from the Oval Office I have remained in power in my country and in charge of the oil buried beneath it!" he declared at a rally of the ruling (and only) Iraqi Baath party. "Neither the Great Satan nor Tara Palmer-Tomkinson shall deny me of my holy destiny!" Earlier rounds had seen the removal of General Manuel Noriega from the Panama dictator's chair in 1989 and the surprise disposal of the home favourite John F Kennedy in 1963. With the recent fall from grace of former freedom-fighting favourite turned Taliban totalitarian Mullah Omar in Afghanistan the coast was clear for Saddam to claim his winner's prize ? thousands of tonnes of heavy weaponry and ordnance which is reportedly already winging its way toward Baghdad. Mr Hussein's chosen charity, the Red Cross, is also set to benefit, as it has been awarded a prize of 1 million casualties and a humanitarian crisis. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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