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Dubya's War

Straw: Saddam is too rude
The Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw, yesterday warned "the world in general" that Saddam Hussein "persistently mocks" the UN. "This is getting beyond a joke," said the mild-mannered Mr Straw. "He keeps telling rude jokes about us, he gets his aides to put whoopee cushions under our chairs at meetings and now he sticks his tongue out at us in public. The time has come for the international community to do something about his bad manners."

British and American representatives at the United Nations are now pressing for an emergency Security Council resolution to force Saddam to attend "some sort of prep school - or face the consequences".

However, diplomatic experts doubt that such a resolution would have any effect. "He [Saddam] has already ignored god knows how many resolutions," explained Dr Douglas Ramsbottom, a GP from Worcestershire. "I guess that shows just how rude he is."

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