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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · George W Bush |
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| You are happy to see: Home > News | 7th January |
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 IDS pledges Iraq support 1 Sep 2002 The Conservative "leader", Iain Duncan Smith, said today that Iraq is a "growing threat to Britain". Mr Duncan Smith's remarks, which were made in the Sunday Times, might have caused mass panic, a potential humanitarian crisis and the collapse of a small Asian country's economy had they been made by someone important, but fortunately they weren't. However, despite this, scientists from NASA agree with Mr Duncan Smith. "It may sound ridiculous but it's true," said a spokesman this afternoon. "Iraq is expanding by about three millimetres a day. If it continues to expand at this rate, the rest of the world's population could be squashed into a space the size of Mr Duncan Smith's head polish cupboard within years. This could seriously affect Britain's ability to grow in any way." Mr Duncan Smith also pledged his support for an American-backed war against Iraq. "The threat is there," he wrote, "it's getting bigger and it's about time we sent a message to the world that Iraq has got to stop growing. If Saddam Hussein is reading this, which he probably isn't, I say to him now, once and for all, without any hesitation, probably: come on if you think you're hard enough! Please." A campaign by a group of Conservative backbenchers to drop Mr Duncan Smith out of an aeroplane over Iraq and "hope he hits something on the way down" has meanwhile been stifled. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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