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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | 21st March |
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 SPECIAL REPORT: US declares "War of Annoyance" on Iraq 21 Sep 2002 The United States officially launched a "War of Annoyance" yesterday. The war, which will see the country take on rivals such as Iraq, Cuba and "Wales, in England", was started by President Bush at a glitzy ceremony in New York last night. "Our new War of Annoyance will drive our enemies mad," sang Mr Bush, accompanied by half a barbershop quartet, 21 cancan dancers and Britney Spears on the kazoo. "We're gonna annoy them so much they'll see that we're bad. Oh yeahhhh we're bad!" Following the ceremony's closing fireworks, Mr Bush and a group of schoolchildren who had been specially borrowed to "be there and look pretty", pressed "the big red button" to start the war. Insiders at the Pentagon told DeadBrain that one of the first moves in the new war was to annoy Iraq by threatening to veto their pledge to allow weapons inspectors back into the country. "Iraq invited the UN's inspectors back in for a bit of a do, but we might stop them going," sniggered a man wearing dark shades. "You've got to admit, that's going be pretty annoying for them. Hell, we'll probably piss the UN off at the same time, but they're big, they can take it." Iraq, however, struck back today. Speaking at a top-level meeting in Baghdad, President Saddam Hussein told the assembled cameras that he refuses to agree to anything the UN or America says other than what has already been agreed with UN Secretary General Kofi Annan. Sticking his tongue out at the cameras and placing his thumb on his nose, he added playfully: "Ner ner nah ner ner!" Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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