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| You feel threatened by: Home > News | 11th February |
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| SPECIAL REPORT: Hear'Say call it a day 2 Oct 2002 by Alex Pop sensation Hear'Say have sensationally decided to quit the "music" business just two years after their sensational record-breaking entry into chart history. Myleene Klass, Noel Sullivan, Danny Foster, Suzanne Shaw and Kym Marsh were plucked from obscurity in front of a goggle-eyed nation in February 2001 on the hit ITV show "Popstars". Despite being dogged by persistent rumours that they were a manufactured band, Hear'Say sold 500,000 copies of their debut single "Pure and Simple", including 499,000 to Simon Cowell alone, and became the first band to top the single and album charts simultaneously. The program spawned a whole raft of new, exciting reality TV shows including such greats as Pop Idol, Pop Rivals, and Channel 5's Hot Steamy Lesbian Sex Slaves of the Far East Do Battle Over the Greased Karaoke Businessmen on Poppers, hosted by Keith Chegwin. But soon cracks began to appear in Hear'Say's carefully-applied glossy finish. In January 2001 the group lost member Kym Marsh, who quit after allegations about her appeared in a tabloid newspaper. According to the Mirror, Marsh was nothing but a manufactured pop star put together from cut out pieces of soft porn painstakingly selected by Pete Waterman and voiced by a rusty nail being dragged over corrugated iron. At a packed press conference yesterday, Danny blamed the group's split on musical differences. "After 2 years of hard work, we still just weren't sure exactly what music actually is, but have come to accept the fact that what we have done is entirely different to it," he told the army of reporters from magazines like What? and Goodbye! Suzanne Shaw however claimed that the end had come because the group wanted to spend more time with their families who had been forced into hiding, partly through understandable shame and partly through fear of popular retribution. Meanwhile a statement from Kym Marsh, who was allowed to attend the press conference via live videolink to prevent scenes of public disorder, implied that changing trends had caused the group's downfall. "Our audience has grown up and left us behind," she whinged. "One minute you're an idol to a generation, the next all they want is to do is finally get to grips with Pampers Pull-Ups and try solid food." Noel cited the pressures of stardom as the reason the group had quit the entertainment industry. "After a while you get fed up of people in the street shouting at you and abusing you, calling you a wanker and a useless tosspot," he complained. "I had hoped that becoming famous through Popstars might make it stop, but to be honest it just got worse." After listening to the pathetic whining, bitchy backbiting and range of poor excuses the different members gave for the group's demise, record company executive Gregory T Mullet added with surprising wit, "Still, they're probably more in harmony now than they ever were before."
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