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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Iain Duncan Smith |
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| You have been flattened by: Home > News | 19th March |
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 Disappointment at fascist Tory speech 7 Oct 2002 There were concerns today that modernising influences in the Conservative Party are becoming more and more angry at their slow progress. Theresa May, the first ever transsexual woman Chairman person, told Tories in Bournemouth that they "must change or face slaughter". Warming to her audience of racists, bigots and racist bigots, she went on to dramatically rip off her suit and false beard to reveal an authentic SS uniform, specially borrowed from the Imperial War Museum in London. Goose-stepping around the stage, she shouted at the bewildered pensioners, "Do you want to die? Well do you, punk? 'Cause if you don't change and change soon I'm going to kill you all!" An almost sinister "evil laugh" was subsequently drowned out by the arrival of Iain Duncan Smith, coughing loudly. Reaction to Mrs May's inaugural conference speech as chairman was mixed. Some of the party faithful were impressed with her performance. "I thought she was quite good," said Douglas Ramsbottom, a pensioner from Morecambe. "She said what we wanted to hear. I'm sure we'll win the next election now!" First-time delegates, though, weren't as satisfied. "I was quite disappointed actually," complained Gregory T Mullet, another pensioner from Morecambe. "I came here expecting some sort of right-wing lunacy, but all I got was a bit of fascism. It was quite tame really." Related articles DeadBrain obtains discarded IDS political "thriller" 7 Nov 2003 Conservatives replace balding, unelectable leader with balding, unelectable leader 6 Nov 2003 Trick or treat with Michael Howard 31 Oct 2003 Howard to stand as Tory leader after all 30 Oct 2003 16:14 Entire Conservative Party rules itself out of leadership contest 29 Oct 2003 23:55 Satirists mourn loss of Duncan Smith as Tory leader, figure of fun 29 Oct 2003 19:40 In Brief: Tory leadership crisis - excitement mounts 28 Oct 2003 Duncan Smith demands dry cleaning be returned by Wednesday 27 Oct 2003 Duncan Smith victim of Conservative-Labour bidding war 23 Oct 2003 Tory leader to give birth, have heart scare, go into space 20 Oct 2003 Tory leader "has office", to be investigated 12 Oct 2003 WHO moves to contain IDS outbreak in Blackpool 9 Oct 2003 Newsreaders hospitalised after Duncan Smith promise 6 Oct 2003 Tory leader calls for Kelly inquiry to be produced in cartoon form 22 Jul 2003 Conservative leader to join Big Brother house 9 Jul 2003 Trisha helps IDS in Conservative Party makeover 19 Jun 2003 Conservative leader resigned several months ago 31 May 2003 Tory "leader" demands right to lifelong non-anonymity 24 May 2003 IDS "bad for health" claims report 16 May 2003 IDS gets giggles while proclaiming confidence that Tories will win at next election 14 May 2003 IDS - "a real threat to government" 5 May 2003 New Tory information minister hails election victory 2 May 2003 Tories deny open warfare; call in weapons inspectors 24 Feb 2003 "Spoons save Tories", claim spin-doctors 22 Feb 2003
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