| | Mirror announces the world is still doomed
18 Nov 2002
The Daily Mirror is in a state of shock this morning after Britain failed to collapse over the weekend. As we reported on Thursday, the Mirror said the country was in "complete, total and utter crisis" and likely to fall apart by Sunday (yesterday), but it now seems that it has failed to do so.
Expectations that the country would no longer exist today caused severe disruption at the newspaper, with half of the staff not turning up for work this morning and editor Piers Morgan having "no actual news content" to fill its pages with. As a result, the creative department went into overdrive and came up with recycled pictures from a Madonna photo shoot five years ago, a story about a three-legged dog called Rupert who is actually a cat with four legs and a special "world exclusive" "holy-shit-we're-all-going-to-die" pull-out souvenir edition on the alleged crisis facing mankind.
Prompted by the arrest of two people who were "thinking about" launching a terrorist attack on London, today's front page carried the humorous headline "It's behind you!", a comment piece by Piers Morgan on how the world is doomed and only the Mirror knows it (hint: buy it more often), and a totally irrelevant picture of a minor celebrity wearing a dress.
A spokesman for the Mirror has denied scare mongering, saying that the paper has scientific evidence to suggest that aliens have taken over our water supply (page 2), Saddam Hussein's agents have infiltrated the board of Manchester United (page 5), Osama bin Laden is planning to attack a furniture store in Hull (page 7, accompanied by an advert for DFS), and the Sun is behind it all (pages 18, 19 and 21).
Go on, have a look at this...
|
|
