| | Bush condemns axis of evil photocopiers
12 Dec 2002
President Bush launched a scathing attack on countries harbouring so-called "photocopiers of mass destruction" at the White House today. According to Mr Bush, several countries around the world harbour poorly-built, badly-maintained and unreliably-operated photocopiers that could be used by terrorists to spread propaganda - "or worse".
Dismissing the countries he identified as having poor photocopying skills as an "axis of evil photocopiers", Mr Bush called for the UN to take action against states like Iraq, North Korea and China to prevent their bad practices from spreading, despite having no photocopying facilities of their own. Finishing his speech with a warning that the US would not stand by while "rogue states abuse the power of their photocopiers for the purposes of evil", his speech went down well with environmentalists.
Unsurprisingly, though, Mr Bush opted not to comment on the embarrassment the American armed forces suffered earlier this week when they attempted to block a shipment of North Korean photocopiers to Yemen. The White House was forced into a humiliating climb down when the Yemeni government pointed out that buying photocopiers is not illegal, even if they do intend to use them for photocopying body parts at office parties and posting them to the White House.
Meanwhile, President Bush has condemned a senator from his own party for making comments about photocopier owners. Trent Lott, who leads the Republicans in the Senate, made what the president called "offensive and wrong" remarks about the use of photocopying facilities in America and abroad. In response, President Bush said that American photocopiers were "the best in the world" and he will "go to war to defend the American people's right to photocopy in the privacy of their own homes".
How cool is this?
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