 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Hans Blix |
|
 |
|
| You are sitting on: Home > News | 11th February |
| |
|
 Church to postpone Christmas Day for EastEnders 24 Dec 2002 Christmas Day is to be postponed until Saturday in England, the Church has announced. Dr Rowan Williams, the famous Hollywood actor, pop singer and the head of the Church of England, said today that events outside his control meant that it would be "inappropriate" to hold Christmas celebrations on the traditional date of December 25th. Speaking at a press conference this evening, Dr Williams explained his decision. "Right now we have Jamie at death's door on a hospital bed, Billy and Little Mo about to get married, Phil Mitchell on the rampage, Pauline on the Prozac, Cat Slater in a low-cut top," he said, pausing to giggle excitedly, "I mean come on, do we really need a load of religious hoo-har on Christmas Day when we've got EastEnders on the telly?" Politicians and most sections of the public have backed the move, with an opinion poll suggesting that 76% of Christians will be arranging their Christmas meals around the two episodes of EastEnders that will be shown tomorrow. Despite not celebrating Christmas themselves, the Israeli army, which receives the programme via satellite, has already withdrawn from some Palestinian areas so its soldiers can watch the drama unfold in Albert Square. Meanwhile, speculation is mounting that the Queen will include a message of good luck to Jamie Mitchell in her Christmas address tomorrow. Trailers released to promote the speech, which Buckingham Palace officials describe as "bigger, longer and uncut", show Her Majesty sobbing into her royal handkerchief as she watched the fictional soap character get run over by a car last week. Reports that Coronation Street fans will face charges of treason have, however, been denied. Related articles 10 long-overdue resolutions for your friends 31 Dec 2002 Imprisoned Santa-spotters released by Greek authorities 29 Dec 2002 Virgin Trains celebrates Christmas Day 28 Dec 2002 Church to postpone Christmas Day for EastEnders 24 Dec 2002
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |