| ||Government to scrap trains to improve efficiency
16 Jan 2003
The government announced a controversial new strategy for improving Britain's railways today: scrapping them altogether. According to the Strategic Rail Authority (SRA), the body charged by the government with regulating the railways, removing all trains from the network would make them "more punctual and more efficient".
"It would be far simpler if we didn't have all those trains to deal with," explained SRA spokesman Sir Douglas Ramsbottom. "If, for example, we left them standing at platforms all the time then people would always know where they were and they'd be where people wanted them. There would be the downside of them not going anywhere, of course, but that's not much different to how it is now."
Hey, look at this!