| | Do you want to buy Safeway?
22 Jan 2003
The search is on tonight for someone who does not intend to bid for supermarket chain Safeway. Already every major competitor to the company, including Morrison's, Asda, Sainsbury's, and Tesco, has said it would like to buy its assets, which are thought to include "shops and some food". Late last night a spokesman for Safeway even indicated that it would consider "buying itself" if none of the rival bids were successful.
Even companies which have not previously been concerned in selling food have expressed their interest in purchasing Safeway, including chemicals giant ICI, computer-maker Dell and cardboard retailer McDonald's. Business analysts say that there are very few firms left in the UK who have not expressed a desire to buy the chain, and more are joining the queue to sign every day.
One of the few organisations that has said it definitely does not want to buy Safeway is the news satire website DeadBrain. "I can categorically deny that we have any interest in buying Safeway," stated spokesman Douglas Ramsbottom. "Unless the price is right, of course."
In related news, the Foreign Secretary Jack Straw is apparently unimpressed with the debacle over who will buy the supermarket. Speaking at a press conference this afternoon, he said: "I'm unimpressed."
Do you know anyone who doesn't want to buy Safeway? Let us know at comments@deadbrain.co.uk.
Wow, look at this!
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