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| You just fell over: Home > News | 11th February |
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 Bush: Saddam has castor oil, rice 7 Jan 2003 Disturbing news is filtering in from Iraq tonight where UN weapons inspectors have reportedly found traces of castor oil. The oil, which President Bush described as "highly toxic", is used for a variety of purposes, including in plastics, inks, and textiles and "for chemical warfare attacks on London". Earlier today police in London announced that they had discovered traces of the deadly poison ricin, which comes from the castor bean, in a flat occupied by men of a north-African origin. From this, anti-terrorist experts immediately concluded that Saddam Hussein is plotting to "bomb the crap" out of the West and an American-led invasion should commence at once. "The presence of castor oil in Iraq and ricin in London is a clear and present threat," said Tony Blair, one of the UK's leading anti-terrorist experts. "Just a tiny amount of this poison is enough to kill thousands of people, so I hope I can rely on your full support for an invasion of Iraq – the chances of which are still less than 50% - sometime in the near future. No need to panic, by the way." American anti-terrorist expert George W Bush agreed. "If, as it would appear, Saddam Hussein has got his grubby hands on castor oil and rice, I can see no reason why we shouldn't invade immediately," he said. "Quite frankly I don't see what damage he can do with rice, but if our top people say it's a danger then it's a danger. Let's get him!" Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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