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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · John Prescott |
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| You don't remotely resemble: Home > News | 11th February |
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 UK citizens told to avoid Iraq; cancel holidays there 19 Feb 2003 Thousands of Britons' holiday plans are in disarray tonight after the government advised citizens to stay away from Iraq. New advice from the Foreign Office cited "increasing regional tension", the threat of terrorist attacks and the possibility of being used as human shields as reasons not to visit the country. However, holidaymakers are angry that their spring breaks may be disrupted because of conflict in the region. "I've had my holiday in Iraq booked for six months," complained one man. "I realise Iraq's not the most conventional of holiday destinations, but there are some great deals on lastminute.com. If the government thought it was a bad idea to go there, why have they waited until now to say so? We've hardly heard a word from them on Iraq for ages until now." Meanwhile, the US defence secretary, Donald "the duck" Rumsfeld has warned Saddam Hussein not to use human shields in the event of any war. "Not only are human shields morally wrong, etc, etc, but they're also very unreliable," he quacked, wagging his finger. "I could probably sell you some better metal and plastic ones if you're interested..." Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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