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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · George W Bush |
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| You are happy to see: Home > News | 11th February |
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| FBI arrest British pensioner believed to be Bin Laden 27 Feb 2003 The FBI has arrested a pensioner from Bristol on suspicion of being Osama bin Laden. Derek Bond, a 72-year-old member of the local rotary club, was on holiday in South Africa when heavily armed agents swooped on him in a dramatic dawn raid. Mr Bond was arrested and taken to a Durban police station for questioning. Mr Bond's family are bewildered. "There is absolutely no connection between our family and terrorism, spying or any other illegal activities," said Mr Bond's son, James Bond. "That should be plain for anyone to see." The news comes just a day after Mr Bond was released from a police cell where he had been held for three weeks on suspicion of being international fraudster Derek Sykes. Mr Bond is said to be "annoyed" at being arrested again and his lawyer is threatening legal action over alleged victimisation. However, the FBI is certain it's got its man. "The similarities between Derek Bond and Osama bin Laden are clear," said a spokesman for the US Attorney's office in Texas. "Both men are, well, men, and they both have eyes and a nose and stuff. His disguise was good, but not good enough to knock us off the scent. There's no doubt about it: Derek Bond IS Osama bin Laden." Mr Bond now faces extradition to the United States to answer the latest round of charges against him. Related articles Bush adds British pensioner to Axis of Evil 2 Mar 2003 FBI: British pensioner actually responsible for every crime ever committed 1 Mar 2003 British pensioner also responsible for shooting JFK, says FBI 28 Feb 2003 FBI arrest British pensioner believed to be Bin Laden 27 Feb 2003
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