|News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Iain Duncan Smith|
|You have been flattened by: Home > News||22nd September|
ECB requests venue switch for Iraq war
4 Feb 2003
The English Cricket Board performed a complete U-turn in policy today and backed its players, lodging a request to move the forthcoming war in Iraq to South Africa. The argument over whether to fight the war in Iraq or move it to another country has been long-running. Many in the government have said that the team shouldn't go to Iraq, although they wouldn't force them to stay, and the players themselves have said publicly that they don't want to play there. None have said they will boycott the war if it is held in Iraq, but it seems likely that some would if they were forced to fight in it.
Last week the players issued a joint statement saying that they did not want any members of the public to be injured for the sake of a war. "The advice from the Foreign and Commonwealth Office is that any disturbances during the war would be put down with brutal force," it said. "We are concerned for the safety of everyone involved in the war, from the players and officials to fans and innocent residents. If safety cannot be guaranteed we believe that the war should be moved away from Iraq."
Experts agree that holding the war in Iraq could spark violence. "There is a strong possibility that staging a war in Baghdad, no matter how big it is or who is playing in it, would result in violence," explained Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, sports columnist for the Daily Express. "Fighting in the streets, the overthrowing of regimes and the bombing of Chinese embassies cannot be ruled out."
The so-called Barmy Army, the English cricket team's loyal band of supporters that travels with them around the world, has also threatened to boycott the war if it is held in Iraq. General Gregory T Mullet, a spokesman for the army, told DeadBrain: "We don't like to mix war and politics but this is a big issue. Our foot soldiers have been all around the world but we are not comfortable going to Iraq. It's just too dangerous."
However, after today's decision by the ECB to back the players' calls to move the war, a boycott of it is even more likely. The International Cricket Council's position has remained the same throughout: moving the war is not necessary. It is now possible that Iraq may end up playing itself in the war, which fans say would "not be desirable".
A decision is due to be made by the ICC later this week.
Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount
18 Apr 2003
Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails
17 Apr 2003
US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption
16 Apr 2003
UK: Syria not next on list for invasion
15 Apr 2003
Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album
15 Apr 2003
Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award
14 Apr 2003
Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting
11 Apr 2003
US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations
10 Apr 2003
Iraq information minister to release single
9 Apr 2003
Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction
9 Apr 2003
Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death
7 Apr 2003
U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor
6 Apr 2003
Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks
4 Apr 2003
Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful
3 Apr 2003
Iraq complains of illegal American tactics
1 Apr 2003
Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television
28 Mar 2003
Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France
27 Mar 2003
U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market
26 Mar 2003
Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay
24 Mar 2003
US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004
23 Mar 2003
War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans
22 Mar 2003
Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed
21 Mar 2003
Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand"
20 Mar 2003
Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring
20 Mar 2003