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  You are sitting on: Home > News11th February 
 Disgruntled plastic surgeon performed surgery under the influence
Dr. Kenneth Gerhart, a prominent LA plastic surgeon, is being sued for malpractice by numerous ex-patients for performing surgery while under the influence of alcohol.

One patient went to Dr Gerhart for Botox injections to remove unwanted facial wrinkles but was the victim of a drunken prank. The patient, who wishes to remain anonymous, was injected with excessive doses of Botox to the forehead giving her the appearance of a cross between a Neanderthal and a Klingon.

Dr. Gerhart's verdict on her appearance: "This lady came to me to remove the facial wrinkles around her face. She was under the impression that if she squinted, laughed, or expressed emotions the facial wrinkles would be accentuated. Years of this belief moulded her into a cold and emotionless person with an ungodly stare almost incapable of blinking. I just accented her blank expression with what I call a ‘bio-visor' or ‘brow bill."

Nancy Speegle, an aspiring actress, went to Dr Gerhart for breast enhancement surgery. When she woke up she found to her dismay that she had six extra silicone breasts. Dr Gerhart's response to her complaint: "From the moment that girl walked into my office she was controlling, manipulative, and mean-spirited. Prior to surgery and after a couple of glasses of wine I decided to remedy her abrasiveness with an overhauled new look reflective of her true identity - six tits and a flee collar."

Two patients in late January came in for liposuction. Both had liposuction in their buttocks and abdominal area. However, Dr Gerhart re-injected the fat back into the patients in different areas. One of the patients woke up wearing a sailor's uniform and noticed his forearms were enlarged with anchor tattoos. Dr. Gerhart remarked, "I admit it's not my best work. Perhaps he'd look better with a corn pipe and a can of spinach."

The second patient awoke to find she was wearing a colourful equestrienne outfit. Dr. Gerhart replied, "She's my little lawn jockey. I told her she's always welcome over my house. She can stand as long as she wants in my front yard, or she can test out the new saddles I bought for the dogs."

Marge Fleming came in earlier last January for a face-lift. When she awoke from surgery she found she had pointed ears and her lips were in a permanent pucker the size of a small bagel. Dr Gerhart explained: "I was in a porn shop last month and they were unveiling a new line of blow up dolls. I saw the Vulcan temptress and was smitten. The look is stunning and fits Mrs Fleming's personality exactly."

After losing his license and being sentenced to six years in a California penitentiary, Dr. Gerhart commented on his actions. "These people drove me to drink," he complained. "They came to me and pointed out physical flaws that I couldn't even see. No, I can't see the wrinkles. No, I don't know what's wrong with small breasts. But the professional in me said ‘Yes, I can help you with this problem.' Now I see that these women weren't coming to me to correct physical imperfections but to cover up deep-set insecurities. All I did is help them to appreciate their original God-given natural beauty."

Michael Jackson is 45.



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