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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Donald Rumsfeld |
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| You are disappointed to see: Home > News | 11th February |
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 Blix reports on Iraq's toothpick decommissioning 8 Mar 2003 Iraq has made some progress in the decommissioning of its toothpicks but still has a long way to go, the UN's chief weapons inspector told the Security Council yesterday. "To date, 42 Al Samoud 2 toothpicks have been decommissioned, including four training toothpicks, two toothpicks with combat warheads, one toothpick launcher and a small quantity of cheese," he said. "The legality of the Al Fatah toothpick is still under review, pending investigation and measurement of various parameters of that toothpick." According to Dr Blix, there has been "a significant Iraqi effort" to decommission their toothpicks, which were in contravention of numerous UN Security Council resolutions, but the work of the inspections team has not gone unhindered. However, despite having some criticisms of Iraq's cooperation, Dr Blix did not go far enough for the more hawkish members of the UN. US Secretary of State Colin Powell told the Council that "the clock continues to tick" and that if Saddam Hussein did not destroy all of its toothpicks soon the consequences would be "very, very real". Britain's Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw, had a similar message: "These toothpicks are not toys," he said. "They are very dangerous weapons. If Saddam Hussein came up to you and poked you in the eye with one of them, you could be blinded. It's as simple as that. That is why Iraq has to disarm, and disarm now." Opponents to a second resolution meanwhile stood their ground. "Significant evidence of real disarmament has been observed," the French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin argued. "There is no need for a second resolution. Why choose division when our unity and resolve are leading Iraq to get rid of its toothpicks of mass destruction?" A vote on a new resolution is expected within the next week. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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