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| You are drifting somewhere near: Home > News | 11th February |
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 Bush stung by "easy target" criticism 17 Mar 2003 by Flash Gorman Partially-elected and semi-professional American president George W. Bush today reacted angrily to criticisms of his country's policy of continuously arranging matches with much weaker countries. Since becoming a semi-professional leader, Mr Bush has fought a number of countries that could hardly be described as top-flight opposition. Recent opponent Afghanistan, for instance, had a military budget of only four hundred pounds, a statistic that compares unfavourably with Mr Bush's 342 billion-dollar budget. With Mr Bush deep in preparation for a fight with Iraq, he was keen to talk up his opponent. Speaking from his training camp in Kuwait, he pointed out some of the advantages Iraq would have. "They're fighting at home for one," he said between press-ups "That's always a bonus. Plus they have some formidable moustaches. Much hairier than our guys'". Such arguments hold little sway with seasoned fight pundits. "It's another set up match," opined BBC commentator, Andrew Marr. "People are tired of seeing America take on these countries that are well past their prime. Somalia, Grenada, Sierra Leone - they've all been no-hopers. If America want to be taken seriously then they've got to take on someone who can put up a half-decent fight. North Korea, for instance". Intriguing as such a confrontation may be, though, it is unlikely to happen while America can continue to reap the benefits of quick and easy matches. With the Iraq fight alone having a purse of nearly one quarter of the world's untapped oil resources, there seems little incentive to find more robust opponents. Indeed, Mr Bush's promoter Ron "King" Dumsfeld is already rumoured to be arranging a match with the Northampton Women's Institute. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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