| Outlawed claim to fame | "Stars" affected |
| Former children's TV presenter | Andi Peters, Timmy Mallet, Emu |
| Famous for being famous | Elizabeth Hurely |
| Mesmerised public with appalling behaviour in documentary | Maureen from Driving School, that traffic warden bloke. |
| Sixties pop group who retain the name despite changing the entire line up at least twice | Brotherhood of Man, The Temptations |
| People who won Popstars | Various annoying tossers |
| People who didn't win Popstars | Various annoying tossers |
| Not being dead despite appearances | Keith Richards, Ozzy Osbourne |
| Going public with substance abuse story | Keith Chegwin (alcohol), Tara Palmer-Tomkinson (drugs), John Prescott (socialist principles) |
| Being irritatingly unfunny | Tony Blackburn, Jim Davidson, Les Dennis |
| Not winning a sporting event | Eddie "the eagle" Edwards, English Cricket Team |
| Sleeping with Urika Johnson | Most of the male population |
