 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Hans Blix |
|
 |
|
| You are sitting on: Home > News | 11th February |
| |
|
 UK to abandon war completely after kids miss school 19 Mar 2003 The government said that it is to abandon war with Iraq completely today, in a shock announcement. Making an emergency statement to the House of Commons, an embarrassed Tony Blair said that he had "finally seen the light". "Today, as the House may be aware, thousands of schoolchildren across the country walked out of their lessons in protest at this government’s actions regarding Iraq," he told MPs. "I have to admit to the House that I have finally seen the light. We were wrong all along, we should never have even have considered going to war. I feel ashamed and I hope the young people of this country can forgive me." "These children, with their unique and democratic protests today, have shown this House that it was following the wrong path," said the Conservative "leader", Iain Duncan Smith, in response. "This side too must accept responsibility. I only hope it is not too late to avoid war." The Liberal Democrats, meanwhile, passed out en masse in shock. The withdrawal of British troops from the Gulf has now begun and many will be home within weeks. The Bush administration is said to be considering its own position on the war after similar protests across the United States. Iraqi state television has been showing uninterrupted pictures of Saddam Hussein laughing and smiling since the news broke and a day of national celebration has been declared for tomorrow. The dictator was said to be "overjoyed" that war has been averted. Meanwhile, the Education Secretary, Charles Clarke, has congratulated pupils on their sudden interest in politics and for showing the government "the right path to follow". "It must take something really special for children to want to leave their lessons," he said. "We must thank them for doing this for us and for the world." He later added that the parents of all children who missed lessons to protest about the war would be prosecuted on truancy charges. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |