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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Donald Rumsfeld |
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| You just walked into: Home > News | 18th March |
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 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 The United States will have wiped out the whole of the British armed forces by the end of 2004, a senior Ministry of Defence source told DeadBrain this morning. Our source, who wishes to remain anonymous for operational reasons and so he can keep his job, said predictions are already being made about how quickly the armed forces will be destroyed if losses continue at the current rate. "It's pandemonium at the MoD right now," he said. "The Yanks are shooting down our planes left, right and centre, we've got helicopters flying into each other, we've got journalists going missing… it's madness." "At the moment there are around 44,000 British soldiers, pilots and support personnel taking part in the war," he continued. "If the Americans continue shooting down our planes at this rate or if they get us involved in any more wars we won't have any left by the end of next year. The same goes for the army and navy too." So far in the war more British personnel have been killed by so-called "friendly" fire or accidents than have been by Iraq. The Defence Secretary, Geoff "Buff" Hoon, declined to comment on these specific predictions, but said that Britain would continue to support the US in its military objectives. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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