 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Donald Rumsfeld |
|
 |
|
| You have been disturbed by: Home > News | 24th May |
| |
|
 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 The U.S. Secretary of State, Colin Powell, today announced that the reconstruction rights for Iraq would be sold on eBay in "the biggest and most exciting auction ever". "This administration has carefully considered how it should determine who gets the contract to rebuild Iraq after we've finished bombing it, er, after we've liberated it from its evil dictator," Mr Powell told journalists. "I mean it's a very valuable and important thing, essential to the future of Iraq, so we've got to be careful who we give it to. It seems to me that auctioning it off on eBay to the highest bidder is the fairest way of deciding who gets it." From tomorrow, eBay users will be able to bid on a number of contracts offered up by the U.S. government, including ones for the rebuilding of schools, hospitals and the "hunting down and assassination of Saddam-look-alikes". Because of the special nature of the auction, eBay have agreed to make some changes to the auction process in order to limit bidders to ones who may be vaguely suitable. All companies based in France, Germany, Belgium, Russia and Iraq are automatically banned from participating, while companies based in "other countries that aren't the USA" are "put at a disadvantage". Early predictions suggest that the British armed forces will be the sole bidder and winner of the contract for "peacekeeping indefinitely" and Dick Cheney's old company Haliburton will get the contract for "damn near everything else". Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |