| | Where the hell is Liechtenstein, anyway?
29 Mar 2003
England fans have reacted with a mixture of confusion and delight to tonight's 0-2 victory in Liechtenstein. Apart from questioning their team's rather lacklustre performance, many fans asked the question: "Where the hell is Liechtenstein, anyway?" The answer appears to have baffled the nation.
"I'd never even heard of Liechtenstein until tonight," said one puzzled fan. "I'm pretty sure it's in Africa somewhere, but I saw loads of mountains on the telly so maybe it wasn't. Does Africa have mountains?"
His drinking partner in a Worcester pub was equally unsure. "I always thought Liechtenstein was near where Dracula came from, in Pennsylvania or wherever," he added. "But that's in America and they don't play proper football over there, do they? I really don't know."
So few England supporters worked out where Liechtenstein is that less than a thousand of them made it to the game, with most opting to watch it from home. A few of the most geographically-challenged fans ended up in places as bizarre as Berlin, the Russian port of Archangel and Tenerife and will now have to make their way home without seeing any football.
England's next game is at home to Turkey at Sunderland's Stadium of Light, which, it is hoped, will be easier for supporters to find.
Look at this, moron.
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