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Dubya's War

Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful
Government sources have expressed their disappointment over the latest gun amnesty. Whilst the amnesty was a reasonable success at a national level, it was virtually ignored by its main target - the Iraqi army.

Reports from the liberation torn country confirm that not a single weapon was handed at the specially set up "gun banks". It was initially thought that some Iraqi troops were attempting to hand over their ammunition one bullet at a time but this turned out merely to be an armed attack.

General Tommy "Gunn" Franks voiced his concern over the apparent gun culture that currently exists within Iraq. "I think it's mostly a peer pressure thing. Guys see their buddies taking pot-shots at helicopters and they think it's a cool thing to do".

Raising his voice to be heard over a sudden UK cluster bomb attack, General Franks continued. "What they don't seem to realise is the potential deadly nature of these devices. We're not talking about something safe- like firing a missile into a densely populated city - if they use these weapons on American troops then they could get hurt, and nobody wants that".

The Iraqi armies' insistence on returning fire has been causing severe problems for US troops, many who are unfamiliar with the concept of a two-way exchange of bullets. Hopes are high however that the matter can be resolved by an escalation of the airborne bombing campaign - particularly as it is rumoured that the Iraq Air Force's micro-light fighter has sustained a punctured landing wheel.

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