| | Bush to visit Northern Ireland for peace/war talks
5 Apr 2003
President Bush is to meet with Tony Blair in Northern Ireland next week, it was announced last night. On the agenda will be the war in Iraq and how the country will be governed when the conflict is over, as well as the peace process in Northern Ireland. The pair will also meet with Irish Taoiseach Bertie Ahern and the leaders of the main parties.
When asked why he chose Northern Ireland for the summit, President Bush was clear. "I'm not too keen on flying, so I wanted to choose somewhere close to Washington," he told journalists. "I also had to choose somewhere safe, where we could meet in peace and privacy. Northern Ireland has a reputation for safety and I can't see us getting bothered by any terrorists there."
White House advisers have brought the President up to speed with the situation in Northern Ireland. "I am fully aware of what's going on there," he said. "The guys in the north, led by Gerry Saddams Hussein, hate the folks in the south, led by Bob someone or other, but the guys in the north are communist and have nuclear weapons and stuff. I think we're going to have to put some more troops in the south for the safety of the people and to contain this communist threat to the people of Japan."
Downing Street has meanwhile denied that there is a clash in purposes of the talks. "It is perfectly reasonable for us to be discussing peace in one country and war in another at the same time," said a spokesman. "So long as President Bush doesn't get confused between the two we'll be fine."
A full land, sea and air invasion of Ireland is expected next month.
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