 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Hans Blix |
|
 |
|
| You are lounging next to: Home > News | 30th July |
| |
|
 New Prescott compromise: Firemen can strike in their own time 22 Apr 2003 by Paul Island The Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, today announced that he is near to agreement with himself over the future of the firemen's strike. The ongoing firemen's dispute has been a constant thorn in the government's side. Tying up thousands of troops for emergency cover, it limited Britain's contribution in the Iraq war to a paltry 40,000 troops, which in turn severely limited the American friendly-fire campaign. Meanwhile Mr Prescott has himself been under fire from both wings of the Labour Party. The conservative wing of Labour wants him to bring the renegade firemen under control and outlaw strikes by vital service workers for once and for all. On the other hand, the small but vocal Labour wing of the Labour Party condemns him for daring to give consideration to an argument that would deny trade unionists their fundamental right to whinge and light bonfires. Earlier today Mr Prescott revealed his compromise solution, which he believes will satisfy all parties. In a press conference this morning, Mr Prescott announced, "Vital service strikes in future will be outlawed…but only during working hours. Emergency service workers will be free to withdraw their labour during their own time." He went on to state that, "Being as the firemen spend most of their time at work sleeping anyway, it will be particularly beneficial to them as now striking will no longer mess up their sleep patterns." Unsurprisingly, FBU leader Andy Gilchrist seemed negative when asked to comment on the news. "I think it's a bloody ridiculous idea, striking in their free time," he ranted. "How can they strike then? They'll all be doing their second jobs!" Related articles Union criticises first unpowered flight across Channel 1 Aug 2003 In Brief: FBU says fire-fighters will "keep it real" despite pay deal 29 May 2003 New Prescott compromise: Firemen can strike in their own time 22 Apr 2003 Fire brigade to go to Iraq 2 Dec 2002 Minister quits over BNP "fire-fighting" row 26 Nov 2002 Government orders arsonists back to work 24 Nov 2002 Prescott "could have been avoided" 23 Nov 2002 Deputy PM causes destruction of world as we know it 22 Nov 2002 Fire strike called off for Children in Need 16 Nov 2002 Strike latest: Mirror announces Britain to collapse by Sunday 14 Nov 2002 Fire strike: Army won't respond to burning underpants 13 Nov 2002 Firemen down hoses 12 Nov 2002 Liberal Democrats call off mass strike 5 Nov 2002
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |